Labor day + 7 month anniversary 9/10/11

My parents came out for Labor day weekend and we went to Jerome, AZ for a day to hear Blaine play. ‘O’ loves watching Blaine perform and provided some dancing entertainment up in front. It was a long drive because of an accident on the way up, but worth it because there's a great fudge place up there (oh, and because Blaine and Dilly put on a great show).

‘O’'s preschool day is extended now by 25 minutes for "enrichment classes". On Tuesday she stays for music and Thursday is Spanish. We are glad she's doing cool things but really we just see it as an extra 1/2 hour for Blaine before he has to pick her up .

‘O’ is definitely getting into the groove of being part of our family, and Blaine and I are getting more used to it now, too. Being an adoptive parent has very unique challenges, especially when the child is so much older like ‘O’. She definitely has a strong personality, and then when you add to that her history and attachment issues, you have a whole new ballgame. Blaine and I are using the therapeutic parenting lingo often, although it's not always easy. We just have to remind ourselves that she is a completely different person than she was 7 months ago. Today she has been living with us for exactly 7 months, which is only about 15% of her entire lifetime. I have to remind myself of that when she gives attitudes or has meltdowns. It's still such a short time in the grand scheme of things.

Her latest thing is to talk about when Blaine and I get old. She said the other day, "When you get very old, I will take you places". We've had to talk a lot lately about her not trying to always have control. We are in charge, we keep her safe, she doesn't have to worry about it anymore and she doesn't need to try to control everything. So she said, "When you are old, I will control you." Well, yes, you probably will.

-joni

August activities 8/22/11

August has been full of activities - California trip (2nd weekend in a row), starting preschool, & a day trip to a river in Payson. ‘O’ loves staying busy, and we love how exhausted she gets after a full day:)

She LOVES preschool and her new teachers, Mrs. Richey and Mrs. O. She goes Tues/Thursdays for 3 hours. Blaine and I went with her the first day, which was shortened to 1 hour and included the parents. She explored the room and liked the bean table and playdoh. I have to say, she was definitely the most well-behaved child:) On the first official day of preschool, Blaine dropped her off and she gave a kiss goodbye and walked right in and didn't look back. No issues. She loved it. She asks every day if she can go to school. Maybe we'll try to extend it to 5 mornings after Christmas. We'll see...

When we visited mom and dad last time, we went to the beach. It was a CHILLY 65 degrees but ‘O’ went in the water anyway - twice. Blue lips and shivering did not stop her. She loved being buried up to her neck and digging for sand crabs. Nothing seems to scare her. Not even the ferris wheel on Balboa island. Seriously - it made me a little woozy, but she had a blast.

Her newest saying is, "you know what...?" but not as a phrase to lead into telling us about something. It's more like the colloquialism of an interjection. The other day I asked her, "you want a pickle?" and she replied, "no thank you...you know what? yes, I do want a pickle."

-joni

Family pictures

We took professional family pictures in California (my cousin's wife is an awesome photographer, look her up if you're in Cali). Click here for a few sneak peeks!

Adoption day!

Well, "the" day finally came on 7/28/11. It really couldn't have gone more perfectly. Well, I take that back. It would have been perfect had we not gone to the wrong courthouse first and then barely made to it the juvenile courts only 2 minutes before our preceding. But other than that, it was awesome! “O” did really well. She sat on Blaine's lap during the hearing (which lasted all of 8 minutes) and when I started crying (early on) she looked at me and said, "why you have water in your eyes?" and then moved over to sit and comfort me. I whispered to her that sometimes when people are really happy, that they cry. And, I was really happy so I was crying. She was intrigued by the judge, who we had talked about for a while. We had prepared her for the day by calling it "Adoption day", using the date "July 28", and that we would see the "judge who would give us a special paper and say that “O” wouldn't go and live with anyone else ever again. That she'd be with us FOREVER". After the hearing, she said, "I didn't hear the judge say it!". I explained that he did, but in very 'adult' terms.

We had a full house supporting us, it was great. My parents, my sister/bro-in-law and their kids, Blaine's parents, grandparents, “O”'s maternal grandparents (who have been so supportive through all of this and have been waiting anxiously for this day to happen), and our case worker. We were walking out of the courthouse by 9:15 (it started at 9:00) and took more pictures. Then some of us headed over to Bruegger's bagels for breakfast, and then off to the fun stuff - Jumpstreet. A bouncy gym that has trampoline floors/walls and 4 big bounce houses. The kids (and adults) had a great time! Then home for lunch, quiet time, and an afternoon of swimming,cake, and presents. “O” did really well all day.

The next day we all drove out to California forthe weekend and took little family (the 3 of us) and big family pictures (parents, cousins, etc). I have attached a sneak peak of the little family pics! By hour #2, “O” was a bit tired of smiling and posing, but she was a real trooper.

Blaine and I have definitely noticed that “O” has a sense of peace and security that wasn't there in the beginning. She is much more settled and her (big) personality is coming out!

I feel like all of these months and updates have been building up to this day and further updates would be superfluous. However, this is sort of how I have been keeping track of our journey and so, like it or not, I'll keep sending them out!

-joni

Visit with California cousins 7/17/11

“O” got to see her California cousins for the 2nd time and she met Aunt Sarah for the first time! The girls played really well together and “O” had a blast. They did the play area at the mall, swimming at the public pool, and swimming at the house (a couple of times). All 3 girls are little fish and keep the adults busy and on our toes in the water. Ava and “O” are only 3 months apart, and “O” and Madisen are about 13 months apart. It's so funny how “O” fits right in and actually looks like a blood-related cousin.

“O” has picked up yet another one of my ways of speaking...I apparently say, "right?" a lot after giving her lectures or just when explaining something. e.g., "It's important to wash our hands, right? We don't want to spread germs, right?". So now “O” says it a lot when talking and it sounds kind of valley girlish. It's pretty funny..."we're going to the park today, right?"

-joni

4th of July 2011

Last weekend “O” and I drove out to CA to see my parents. She did really well in the car for the 5 hour drive! She talked, slept (a little bit), played the iPad, and looked out the window. Amazing. She's a traveler. Maybe she'll go on the road with Blaine when he tours:)

Her first 4th of July with us was great - and I think it was her first time seeing sparklers and mini fireworks. She loved it. We did them in the backyard, and I was sure to water down the grass afterward.

She has started her new swim session this week. She has graduated from being a "shrimp" to being a "duck". And this class there is actually another girl! Last session she was with 4 roudy boys. She can dive head first and swim to the other side of the pool under water. She can also come up for air and then go back under to keep swimming. She's really getting good. She loves it. And we love how tired she is at the end of the day for bedtime after swimming.

We are looking forward to July 28 and talk to her often about "adoption day with the judge". She is very excited. I think mainly she's excited that we're having a party and her cousins & grammie/pop-pop are visiting.

-joni

First Father's day 6/19/11

Blaine's 1st Father's day has consisted of being woken up early (for him, since he works late), homemade breakfast, coffee, presents, walking the mall with us, and now a movie by himself. He's in heaven! I'm very impressed that “O” didn't spill the beans about what we got him, since we got it a few days ago (socks, gift card, framed pictures). I think it helped that after the 2nd day her 3 year old's memory wasn't so good.

Blaine's love and obsession for guitar shopping has now trickled down to his daughter. I don't know too many preschoolers who have an acoustic AND electric guitar. She loves them. One was a garage sale, the other Craigslist.

Yesterday “O” and I went to a free Summer Sunsplash family event at a park in Chandler. They had water slide bouncies, food vendors, firetrucks, karate demos, and spongebob (among other things). It was great. She went down the water slide 4 times (I was pretty impressed, it was tall!) and thoroughly enjoyed the snow cone. She got to sit in a fire truck for the 2nd time. The other day we were on our walk and 2 firetrucks pulled up to the field and the men got out to play ultimate frisbee (their exercise time they said). So we strolled up and she got to check out their rig. She's going to think it's a very normal thing to just hop in a firetruck!

Today at the mall there was a guy with his little shit zsu dog. The dog is a therapy dog and works at Phoenix children's hospital. “O” got to pet him and hold him on her lap. She LOVED him. His name was Tiger. He even had a little business card with his name and info on the back (his breed, favorite food, tricks, etc.). We said thank you and then she walked back to the guy on her own and very seriously said, "thank you very much for letting me pet your dog". Then she turned to me and said, "next time I get a new dog, I want this dog".

-joni

Big girl bed 6/14/11

Blaine has picked up “O” off the floor many times and so we figured it was time to get her a big girl's bed. We all went to Ikea together and picked it out. She chose the purple stain color (which I think looks perfect with the flowers in her room!). She 'helped' us assemble it and got very excited once we rearranged her room to put it in. She grabbed a book and jumped in the bed with blankie. Dolly and Cash had to check it out as well. We'll see how tonight goes and if she is able to fall asleep easily! She had some anxiety when she saw that her toddler bed was leaving the room and said that she was going to be sad because she needed 2 beds. We are giving the toddler bed to my friends who have an 18 month old (she has met him). She liked the fact that we were giving it away to another baby and started grabbing other toys to give to him also.

-joni

Swim Lessons 6/9/11

“O” started swimming lessons on Monday and is doing so well! She was already fearless at our pool, so I wasn't really concerned. The first day I took her and she was actually quite nervous and shy. She barely put her face under water and got very tense when the teacher tried to hold her for floating on her back. She stuck her legs straight up into the air instead of relaxing into a "starfish". I wondered if I had signed her up for a level that was too advanced (especially since the only other girl was already practically doing laps). Blaine took her on Tuesday and Wednesday and so when I took her today I was amazed at how much she had improved! She was kicking and actually propelling herself forward underwater, was able to do "bobs" (bounce up and down in the water), and put her head underwater to grab a ring! She is the "shrimp" level. Next level is "Ducks", but that may not be until next summer:)

joni

Tech Savvy girl 6/4/11

“O”is now pretty self-sufficient with the iPad. She knows that when "words come up" on the screen (i.e., it is asking if I want to upgrade and pay for another app) that she has to push the button to go back to the main menu. I looked over the other day and she was watching kitten videos on YouTube. Blaine said that a few days ago she walked up to the TV and swiped her finger across the screen to get it to "change pages" like the iPad does. She also tries to touch the regular computer screens to get things to change. When we first got it, the 3 of us were sitting on the couch and “O”was playing with it, doing the "doodle" app with drawing and putting stamps on the page. She turned to Blaine and tapped his nose and said, "oh, it doesn't work on you" and then smiled. What a clever joke!

Grammie and Pop-pop came out to visit last weekend and she had a blast. A bit dysregulated by the change in routine, but she had a great time. She listens to my mom's children's choir songs every night on her ipod and got a kick out of the fact that when Grammie was here visiting she was listening to grammie in her room, too!

I signed her up for preschool at Dayspring Preschool starting in August. Tues/Thurs mornings from 8:30-11:30. We think 2 mornings a week is plenty for her right now, especially when the goal is still to form a secure attachment. Dropping her off 5 days a week probably wouldn't be the best way to create a strong bond. The school seems really neat. It's a United Methodist Church preschool. The director was really nice and said that they will work with us and anything that she might need to adjust and feel comfortable.

One of the things that occurs when she gets dysregulated is that she starts to become more focused on food and the quantities that she receives. So she has been asking for a lot of cranberries in her snack bag, or a lot of cereal, etc. We have had several tiffs about the amount of cranberries I put in her baggy for a snack in the car. She whines that it's not enough. Today, she asked if she could have her baggy and then before seeing it asked, "it have a lot?". I said, "Oriana, I'm not going to have this conversation with you today". She said, "ok, my won't say it". I handed her the bag and she said, "woa! It have A LOT!" and then smiled. I gave her a high five.

-joni

"Chill out" - 5/7/11

This morning on our walk at the park, I told “O” to "walk faster, please" and she said to me, "chill out, mommy". Oh dear. I say that to her (I admit it) and now it has come back to bite me. Well, I did let her know that she can't talk to mommy that way, and made a mental note to try to model better manners with her .

Today has not been the easiest day with her. Some days are just off for her, could be an emotional trigger that we don't know about, could be that she's 3, could be that we're all tired. She's in quiet time and hopefully we can "have a do-over" (as Eva would say) for this afternoon.

Last night she was having a hard time going to sleep (calling out a lot) and I was losing my patience. Blaine was (thankfully) still home and talked to her about being safe in our house. He said that this is HER house, HER room, and we are here to keep her safe. And she said, "and God keeps me safe, too. He's here, too". awe!

I put her baby pictures up in a frame in the hallway. Whenever we look at them with her she likes to be wrapped up like a baby in Blankie and then carried around the house. She becomes very infantile (hands to mouth, pretends to get sleepy, talks baby talk). It's quite a healing process for her.

ok, she hasn't slept at all for quiet time today. Maybe that means she'll go to sleep fast tonight?

-joni

Dance class 5/1/11

“O” had her "big performance" for her last dance class (the 4th class of a month-long class, and it was just that the teacher let us in the room to see the songs they've been practicing.) Les (grandfather) came and she was thrilled. I have her signed up for the next month with the same teacher. I was surprised at how much she knew and could sing along, because it seemed like during most of the classes she was only on task half the time. It was painful at times to be the parent watching in through the door and seeing my child test the teacher. Oh well, 1st dance/recreational experience should be a positive one I guess. I don't want to turn into a crazy "pageant mom".

Some funny “O” sayings:

-We were on our walk today and and she saw the front grill of a BMW and said, "that car is mad!" If you've ever paid attention to how they look, she's right. And so then we named emotions for other cars . . . lots of cars look mad, but some do really seem happy, with the front grill wide as if showing teeth. I pointed out a VW Bug, which has round headlights (big open eyes) and the hood looks like a smile to me. So I said, "that car is happy!", and she said, "no, surprised!" . Which, again, with the "wide eyes" she is right.

- I asked her when Blankie's birthday is, and figuring she'd say October 5 (her birthday, and the only date she knows), she said "October 3". What a little smarty pants! Oh, and Blankie is only 1 year old. I thought he was much older.

- I asked her what shape birthday cake she wants, "...a cupcake shape? A bunny, or turtle?" and she says, "No, a cricket". Always thinking outside the box! And then she decided on a "dolly cake".

- she said that cupboards smell like "mushrooms", which is quite descriptive, I think, of what something dark and damp might smell like.

-joni

Going to college with Blankie - 4/27/11

I have been starting to put clothes in a bag for Goodwill that “O” is growing out of (yes, in just the short 2 1/2 months since she moved in she has outgrown clothes and shot up 2 inches). And every time she sees me put the clothes in the bag in the garage she asks why, so I tell her. Today she asked again, and I once again said something like,

me: "They are too small for you now, so we are going to give them to kids who need clothes"

O: "Why them need clothes?"

me: "Some kids don't have very many clothes or toys, so we share with them"

O: (after running off to her room and returning with a book in each hand...) "Them need to read, too" and hands me the books to put in the bags. I had to hide the tears (granted, one of the books was one of my kid's therapy books, but the sentiment was still there)

Today after swimming, we were sitting on the deck and she brought Blankie out to sit with us. She says, "When my go to college, Blankie will come with me to college". hmmm...

I realized today that it really isn't just in my imagination that she asks a lot of "why" questions. This can be pretty typical of children who have been in foster care - they seek to control situations, and they try to control speaking conversations by talking "nonsense" or asking tons of questions. I have learned to just answer with "because I love you", or recently I have begun to bring back some childhood songs and just start to sing them instead of being sucked into her line of "why" questioning. These past couple of days I have sung a lot of "Say say oh playmate! Come out and play with me...." and "I'm a little piece of tin, nobody knows what shape I'm in"... and "hokey pokey". Here is an example, so you don't think I"m crazy:

(driving around in the car)

O: You need to get gas!

Me: no, i'm ok.

O:why you ok?

Me: my gas tank is full

O: why your gas tank full?

Me: because I haven't driven around very much

O: why you haven't driven around very much?

Me: because I haven't needed to drive around very much

O: why you no need to drive around much?

Me: Say, say oh playmate! Come out and play with me, and bring your dolly sweet, climb up my apple tree, slide down my rainbow, into my swimming pool, and we'll be jolly friends, forever more, more, many many more-more!

-joni

2 month anniversary and more 4/14/11

“O”'s 2 month anniversary was on April 10. It seems like 2 years. Maybe just because we're exhausted:) We went to the zoo and had kettle corn and pet the goats. It was great. Every night (except for days when she hasn't slept for quiet time and she's really tired) involves multiple call-outs to me from her bed..."mommy! where's Bob?" (one of her stuffed animals), "mommy, hello kitty need a bandaid!", "mommy, I love you!", "Mommy, what you eating?", "mommy, there's a fly in my room", "mommy, what's that noise?", "mommy, my skin is dry", and my favorite..."mommy, my went poo-poo!". Because no matter what, she will squeeze out anything she's got in order for me to come empty her potty. I have attached a picture of her little deposits. I'm not sure whether to laugh or scream sometimes. well, good night. joni

Dance and Gymnastics - 4/7/11

“O” has started her gymnastics and dance classes this week through the Parks and Recs department. She enjoyed the gymnastics but the teacher (who was filling in and an ASU gymnast) wasn't super structured and didn't try to keep the kiddos from running all over the gym. It was a bit stressful to watch. Hopefully the full time teacher will crack a wip a bit more. The dance teacher is great...she kicked all of the moms out during class because the kids were distracted and shy. So we all huddled around the door looking through the window and trying to take pictures. “O” did pretty well...but she liked turning around to watch herself do her own little dance in the wall mirror. She was the kid standing when everyone was sitting (a few times) or talking to the teacher. *sigh* She's a "spicy girl" as Blaine likes to call her.

The other morning “O” woke up and was very self-sufficient...she got her juice out of the fridge, put her panties on, and then decided that Hello Kitty needed a mouth...so she put a sticker of lips on her face.

She continues to amaze us with the things that she picks up on...we really can't say anything without her hearing, understanding, or questioning. She is so perceptive about people's feelings and facial expressions, too. Blaine took her on the carousel at the mall yesterday and the lady collecting the money was on her cell phone and annoyed at having to work there. All of the other kids ran on without a second thought and “O” asked Blaine, "she upset? She mad at you?" while she was being buckled in on the ride.

I love it when she mispronounces things (I know I should correct these, since I'm the speech therapist, but it's so darn cute!)

helipopter (helicopter)

vitie-yems (vitamins)

washmouth (mouthwash)

magina (yep, you guessed it)

She has a pretty good ear and can imitate Spanish words well. I've been naming common objects or pictures in Spanish and she'll repeat it pretty easily. Tonight she even said, "you're a leche!" (milk), which of course doesn't make sense, but I was surprised that she remembered a word. She knows "adios" and "por que?" (because when she goes into her constant repetition of 'whys' I just start to answer with "por que?!").

adios for now,

-joni

"Now my live here"...3/23/11

In the last couple of days, “O” has been saying (without prompting) that "When my was a little girl, mommy-mika take care of me. But now my a big girl, and my live here. Mommy and daddy take care of me now." And then we follow it up with..."And are you going anywhere else after this? No!!! This is your forever home!" She smiles really big.

We met up with her bio grandparents today at a park in Phoenix. We had met them one other time at the CPS office. This was a more fun and relaxing place. She did pretty well. She was excited to see them, it had been 6 weeks. Her grandpa is very old, and told Blaine that he will "try to hold on until the adoption is finalized" (meaning, he wants to be alive long enough to see it through and know that she is forever and finally safe). They teared up several times today, always thanking us and expressing how grateful they are. We told them we feel just as blessed.

Blaine is trying to teach “O” some lyrics to a song that was inspired by her "sayings". When she wants to have something, or have more of something, she'll say "just a little bit". So, he wrote a song entitled "Just a little bit". The left column has the correct lyrics, the right column is what “O” sings:

Give me just a little bit...................gimme just a little bit

I don't need a lot ...........................no my need a lot

Open up your heart........................open up your heart

and show me what you got.............show me what you got

sugar tastes sweet........................sugar is sweet

coffee in the pot............................coffee in the coffee maker

hahahaha! It's so cute when she sings. She also walks around singing "rusted!" from "Busted and Rusted". Oh, and "hallelula!!" all day long.

I just enrolled her in "Itty Bitty Dance Combo" (singing and dancing) and Beginning Gymnastics through the Chandler Parks and Recreation dept. They are 4 week long classes starting in April (mon/thursdays). She is so excited!

-joni

Shopping in cupboards Feb 24, 2011

Feb 24, 2011

“O” decided to go shopping in our cupboards today (I thought that only happened once they go to college?) and so she filled a grocery bag with various items.

Tonight at dinner time, Blaine was at work and we were listening to "Honey in My Coffee" album and the song "Coffee Eyes" was playing (about his dog, Missy). “O” was being silly and talking, but as soon as he sang the line, "she's the sweetest thing, always by my side" she stopped and said, "he singing about me!".

Today I discovered what Blaine has already enjoyed a few times...drinking starbucks while letting our child run free in the mall play area. Ahhhh....peace.

In these pics she is wearing the adorable dress/shirt that my friend, Lauren, got for her. She picked it out today and was very proud of it.

yesterday and today “O” skyped with Mika and her family. It went really well. She said a couple of times, "my wanna go to your house!" but wasn't crying, just stating a fact. It's good - good she still wants to see them. I'm glad she loves them and is connected to them. They enjoyed seeing each other, and I actually miss them quite a bit, too! They are great people! We are going to try to do a park date sometime soon. Going over to their house too soon might be weird or confusing for “O”.

-joni

ps - I don't know how full time stay-at-home mom's do it...I'm looking forward to going to ASU tomorrow:) We've had a couple of awesome days, I'm just ready for a break!

First Airplane Ride! March 4-7, 2011

March 4-7, 2011

“O” went on her very first airplane ride! We got a children's book from the library (written by Mr. Rogers himself!) with 1970s photos about going on an airplane. It had pictures of kids/parents packing, walking at the airport, security x-ray, waiting in the chairs, sitting in the seats, buckling up, the pilots, getting food, the bathrooms, etc. We read it every night during the week before we left on Friday to go to California. It really helped...she held my hand when walking around, and was SO excited about looking out the windows at the airport that she didn't even play with her special, new airport/airplane toys. We got snacks at Starbucks (as shown in the book, minus the "Starbucks", just a snack bar was shown). Each plane that drove by the window she asked, "is that our plane!? I want to get on!" or when looking at someone waiting near us, "him the pilot?". As soon as we got on, she sat down in her window seat and put on her buckle (thanks Mr. Rogers!) She checked out the tray table, the armrests, and loved the snacks. Flights really are exciting through the eyes of a 3 year old! She chattered THE WHOLE FLIGHT. I told the people in front, "sorry, at least it was only an hour flight!". They laughed and said she talked like their 8 year old, couldn't believe how well she spoke and the things she talked about.

The first meeting with Uncle Jeff was not so good - she got scared (was in the bathtub when he said 'hi') and she cried and wanted him to "go away". She insisted that he didn't live there, but that he had his own house. However, I knew she was intrigued with him because she kept asking where he was and wanted to see him. She also said later, "him a nice guy".

Before we left for California, “O” got to meet her cousin, Samantha, who was visiting from Illinois. The pictures of them in the red car and with Patrick are attached. After that, she kept playing (and still does) that she was Samantha. "My Samantha!" So we have to say, "oh hi, Samantha!".

She did really well at the shower in CA, was a real trooper with so many people. Kept asking everyone, "what's your name?". She was Rachel's little shadow and now wants me to include her in all of the family names at night time when I say, "who loves “O”" (I list everyone she knows).

“O” LOVED swimming in my parents' jacuzzi. She was so brave and put her head under the water several times. Can't wait until summertime! We're going to be in the pool everyday - a few times a day I'm sure. We're going to sign up for swim lessons through Chandler Parks and Rec.

Adopting a 3 year old means that we miss some of her "firsts"...first words, first steps, first solid foods... however, we get to have lots of firsts still...here are a few:

-first airplane ride!

-first time flying an RC airplane (thanks Pop-pop!)

-first time to sabbath school (which she liked..she wanted to shake the bells for every song and stood up to dance while the rest of the kids sat in their chairs to sing. She can't help but move when she hears music!)

-first time pooping in her own toilet! (which she LOVES and will do over and over again, 3x in a row!)

-first time pedaling her trike (2 weeks ago!)

-first time meeting her forever cousins

Here are some funny sayings that she uses a lot: When asking her if you can do/have something, she'll say, "of course!". She uses "probably" and "actually" a lot when talking, very adult-like (thanks to me, I didn't realize that I say those words so much!). She calls Cash "Cashy-boy". When she means to say, "what's that?" she says "who's that?" so it can be confusing sometimes to know if she's talking about a thing or a person. Her favorite fruit: strawberry/ favorite vegetable: green bean/ favorite veggie food: choplets (she discovered them this weekend at my parents' house).

-joni

Spring Break March 12-17, 2011

March 12-17, 2011

“O” got to meet her Texas cousins, Eva and Julian! The house was of full of people and activity for Spring break. She was in heaven - a true extrovert. We filled our week with going to the Scottsdale Arts Festival to hear blaine play with the band (the kids danced down in front on the grass). We also went to the play area at the mall, parks, flew Pop-pop's RC airplanes (each plane named after a grandchild), painted, played with toys at home, swam in the 73 degree pool, searched for easter eggs, ate/played at Peter Piper Pizza, and baked cookies. Eva was very good with “O”, teaching her things and being very patient. Julian cracked up at things that “O” said ("iI love you Julian, It's ok!").

She was exhausted after everyone left and easily got back to her "routine", but definitely asks about Eva, Julian, Aunt Jill, and Uncle Reni often. She was concerned about Chico being sad when he went home. She also got excited when she saw the top of an RV poking over our block wall in our neighbor's yard..."that Pop-pop's RV??!"

I got to talk on the phone with another adoptive mother. She and her husband adopted 2 brothers (3 & 4 years old) about 10 months ago. It was nice to hear that some of the things we are feeling and going through are perfectly normal (and healthy). I can't imagine getting TWO toddlers at once!

She likes to sing the songs that my mom left for her (cherub choir songs) and sings "Brother Nona!" for the song "Brother Noah". She also says "all-lay-lu-la" for "hallelujah". However, I think her favorite phrase right now is, "My will do it!"

-joni

Mommy & 'O' are sick..Feb 16, 2011

Feb 16, 2011

“O” has a cold - wet cough, runny nose, fever. Poor little thing, she wants me to carry her around everywhere. My upper body is getting quite the workout, but my lower back isn't too happy.

Daddy and “O” did some painting yesterday. Blaine had to put his paints on his own separate plate because the first day they painted together she wanted to mix all the colors, which really got to him. So, the next time she got to do what she wanted and he had his nicely separated paint colors (see pictures).

“O” picks up on everything people say, and will even use an expression correctly after hearing it only once. She is a mirror to our actions (whether we like it or not!). Apparently I clear my throat a lot because she has started doing it. Also, Blaine says "big time" to emphasize the importance of something. Tonight in bed she was recapping her day and telling me about the doctor putting a q-tip up her nose to send out a sample to check for the Flu. It hurt and made her cry. So in bed she said, "the doctor picked my nose and my cry big time".

I also told her about when Julian was here a few years ago and fell on our cactus in the backyard, he cried and got hurt a bit. She talked about it several times in bed tonight. "Julian come and fall and hurt hisself on the cactus? Him cry?"

Last night was tough because she was feeling crummy with her cold and started saying that she wanted to go to mommy-Mika's house. We called Mika (for the first time since she moved in) and she started crying saying, "my wanna go to your house!". Oh! It broke my heart to see her so sad. It didn't really make me feel bad or jealous (I'm actually really happy and relieved that she was able to make such a close connection/attachment to Mika), but just felt bad for “O” and Mika. That must have been hard on Mika, too. We'll try to skype with them later in the week, hopefully when “O”'s feeling better and in a happy mood.

No work again tomorrow. This whole working 10 hours a week is pretty nice. Only a few weeks of it, though:)

Joni

First Dental cleaning Feb 21, 2011

Feb 21, 2011

“O” had her first dental cleaning (it wasn't technically her first visit to the dentist, since she had gone back in April with Mika to get her crowns on her top teeth). This was a follow-up and then a first cleaning. She did so well! She laid in the chair, opened her mouth, followed all the directions, and didn't get scared at all! They had her wear sunglasses because the light they shine on their face is bright.

She's finally feeling better and now doing some albuterol inhaler treatments a couple times of day to get rid of her cough. She doesn't like the taste, but still does it like a big girl! I'm starting to feel better, but being sick and a new mom is NO FUN. No fun for ANYONE. Blaine is the greatest daddy ever (well, after my dad of course:) He has a way with her, man, it's amazing. He had her all day on Sunday when I spent my Nyquil-induced coma in bed from 9am-5pm.

Today he took her to the mall to play, Starbucks for a cookie and milk, Joann's fabric to buy t-shirts and iron-ons (which he also ironed on when she was in quiet time), lunch, and naptime, all before 2:30. Oh, and apparently she had a "blow-out" in which she didn't quite make it to the toilet and Blaine had to clean up (hands, toilet, floor, body). He ended up just putting her in the shower to wash her off. hehe. I'm glad I was at work:)

Check out her cute picture that they took of her at the dentist, and the hygienist wrote a little note on a card for her. The other pictures are of us in our "eckercise" outfits. Oh, and she loves to play in our shower, so one day she took 'lion' in there with her to play.

-joni

"O" sayings 2-17-11

2/17/11

“O” has a cold - wet cough, runny nose, fever. Poor little thing, she wants me to carry her around everywhere. My upper body is getting quite the workout, but my lower back isn't too happy.

Daddy and “O” did some painting yesterday. Blaine had to put his paints on his own separate plate because the first day they painted together she wanted to mix all the colors, which really got to him. So, the next time she got to do what she wanted and he had his nicely separated paint colors .

“O” picks up on everything people say, and will even use an expression correctly after hearing it only once. She is a mirror to our actions (whether we like it or not!). Apparently I clear my throat a lot because she has started doing it. Also, Blaine says "big time" to emphasize the importance of something. Tonight in bed she was recapping her day and telling me about the doctor putting a q-tip up her nose to send out a sample to check for the Flu. It hurt and made her cry. So in bed she said, "the doctor picked my nose and my cry big time".

I also told her about when Julian was here a few years ago and fell on our cactus in the backyard, he cried and got hurt a bit. She talked about it several times in bed tonight. "Julian come and fall and hurt hisself on the cactus? Him cry?"

Last night was tough because she was feeling crummy with her cold and started saying that she wanted to go to mommy-Mika's house. We called Mika (for the first time since she moved in) and she started crying saying, "my wanna go to your house!". Oh! It broke my heart to see her so sad. It didn't really make me feel bad or jealous (I'm actually really happy and relieved that she was able to make such a close connection/attachment to Mika), but just felt bad for “O” and Mika. That must have been hard on Mika, too. We'll try to skype with them later in the week, hopefully when “O”'s feeling better and in a happy mood.

No work again tomorrow. This whole working 10 hours a week is pretty nice. Only a few weeks of it, though:)

Visit to great grandparents' house 2-16-11

2/16/11

On Sunday “O” got to meet Uncle Jeff via Skype. She has seen pictures of him but was her usual, serious self when talking to him on the computer. After skyping, I showed her his picture again and she said, "that my uncle Jeff? Him your brother?" Man, she's so smart.

She also got to meet Eva, Julian, Auntie Jill, and uncle Reni for the first time in cyberspace. Once again, pretty serious and observant for the most part. She talked a laughed a little, but mainly rested her head in her hands staring at the computer screen and watching their antics. She is fascinated by Julian. She likes to look at his pictures in her photo album. Could her first crush be on her cousin?

She painted a dragonfly for great grandma and grandpa ("Nana" & "Papa") and got to deliver it to them yesterday on Valentine's day. She did really well at their house. She wanted to touch many things, but was pretty good at asking before touching. Great grandpa played ball with her and showed her the toys he keeps for all of his grandkids. She ran circles around from the TV room to the "Christmas room" (as all grandkids have done, apparently) fascinated by the fact that the rooms were connected. When great grandpa put on some music sung by a 10 year old girl in opera style, “O” danced slowly and sang along in falsetto trying to mimic the girl's voice. She kept asking for more when he turned it off. I see some dancing lessons or gymnastics in her future!

Last night she played 'house' with Cash and Dolly by closing the 3 of them in the laundry room. We could hear her talking to them and 'reading' to them from a piece of paper. Anytime I opened the door, she was sitting on the dryer platform talking to them. They were excited at first to be in there with her, but then eventually looked at me with worried, pleading eyes anytime I opened the door.

Bedtime was awesome last night. No complaining, no sitting by the door. Ah! I guess that's what happens when she doesn't sleep for quiet time. Oh! And she also gave herself a shower last night. I ran the bath, and she sits on the side like I do with her feet in the water. She is still resisting a bit with getting in the water. I never force her or tell her she has to. Inevitably she gets in, though, bathing with toys is too irresistable. So after playing a bit, but not really wanting to be washed, Blaine told her to lift the lever on the spigot. A bit surprised by the flow of water on her head, she pushed it back down, but then did it again. We think she liked having the control over whether she had it on 'shower' or 'bathtub' mode. When on 'shower' mode, she got all the way underneath with a smile and proceeded to wash herself. We're discovering that with a 3 year old, you have to know your goal and somehow get there creatively without them realizing that they are doing what YOU want.

We are trying to move away from 'joni-mommy' to just 'mommy' or 'mama', and from 'daddy-blaine' to just 'daddy'. So...if you skype or talk with her, please refer to us as just 'mommy' and 'daddy'.

First few days in her forever home 2/13/11

2/13/11

O has been doing pretty well adjusting to her forever home. She still mentions Mommy-mika a few times, and the first day with Blaine she said that her home was Mommy-Mika's home. He explained that THIS was now her forever home. It was a day of a lot of "no"s on her part, telling daddy 'no' to many things. Yesterday and today have been good. Yesterday we went to the zoo for about an hour and a half (didn't get very far from the entrance - saw giraffes, took the train around the park, and then left). We had lunch at grandfather and grandmother's house. She loved her mini pizzas that grandmother made! She had a blast on the perfectly-sized swings on their porch. Oh, and grandfather decorated her face with green highlighter marker (see photo). It DID come off very easily:)

She got a late nap yesterday and didn't wake up until 5:15, which made it difficult for her to sleep last night. She heard me twice when I tried to close her door thinking that she was asleep. Many panicky tears later, she finally fell asleep around 10pm. Blaine got home from a gig very late, and she woke up for some reason (noise maybe?) around 3am crying, scared, and possibly sad from missing Mika (she can't really verbalize it, but last night was the 3rd night sleeping here, the longest she's been here so far). Blaine brought her into our bed for a few minutes until she calmed down. I took her back, talked to her, lightly tickled her face, and slept on the floor beside her until 5am. Everytime I tried to move or get up, she'd roll over and look at me to make sure I was still in the room. That is a hard floor.

Today we had a girl's outting with my friend Maryellen (who she called "Mary Lemon" and then another time "Mary Onion"). On the way to getting frozen yogurt, she was cracking us up! I'd say "knock knock!" and she'd just start laughing hysterically as if that were the punchline! You feel so funny with 3 year olds! She'd start with a fake laugh, and then it'd turn into a real one, and the 3 of us laughed over nothing the entire way there.

We think the next week or two will probably be the toughest as she starts to realize that she is NOT going back to Mika's. We will see them again for a quick visit somewhere at a park or restaurant maybe after a couple of weeks.

-joni

2/10/11

Well, “O” came home today:) I picked her up at Mika's at 5:00pm. Daddy-blaine had a gig, but that was ok, we didn't want it to be a big emotional ordeal. The foster family was all out front playing with her and had her things in bags/boxes ready to go. She wanted to come to me and said, "my wanna go in your car". We loaded up her things (4 large bags, 1 little toy kitchen, 1 box...other things had already been brought to our house). She gave kisses to everyone and all of us adults acted very brave and held back tears as best we could. “O” was fine when I put her in the car. I rolled down her window so she could touch their hands and say goodbye again. Foster family's teenage daughter put her head in the car and kissed “O” again. O said, "why you crying?". Foster sister - "because I'm sad. I love you." Luckily I had sunglasses that I wore on the way home. “O” was happy and talkative the whole drive back.

She was very excited to see her new toys from the shower (she hadn't seen any of them yet. We decided opening presents would be too overwhelming, so we just organized and put toys away so that they'd be ready for her when she came home). She played in her new car out back while I fixed dinner . What normally would take me 10 minutes to make, took me about 30 minutes because I kept going outside to answer questions, play, or just see what she was doing.

Bathtime was a success! I found a bathtime doll that has a little hoodie towel, diapers, jammies, and a toilet. She bathed her instead of me! Bedtime was also pretty smooth. Books, looking at pictures in the hallway (naming everyone, oh, and Blaine has been calling Chris "Uncle Frodo". Sorry Chris). She did not ask me to sit by her door (yay!) and only called out with silliness a few times. I think she's actually asleep right now! phew!

When will it feel real?

-joni

2nd sleepover February 5-7, 2011

2/5/11 - 2/7/11

“O” stayed the entire weekend this weekend (saturday and sunday night). Mika+family came over Saturday for lunch at our house (my parents were also in town for the shower that my friends threw for us). Saying goodbyes to Mika+family was pretty seamless, kisses and hugs without any questioning of them staying or not. They also have started bringing over some of her things, which she did not object to. “O” was quite enamored with my parents and warmed up very well too them. She also met grandmother, grandfather, great grandma, & kelsey, taylor this weekend at the shower! She had fun playing with grandmother and grandfather after the shower. At the park today, in fact, she was making up names of people she was pretending to be, and one time she said that she was "grandmother".

Saturday night was harder for her to sleep than actually the 1st night over. We tried to do too many things in the afternoon and ended up having a later dinner, late books, and late to bed (in bed at 9:00). We did our normal routine of talking about who loves “O”, that she is safe in the house, and we are all here for her. I sat by the door without her asking if I would sleep in with her. After 20 minutes, Blaine said he'd try to just lay next to her on the floor to see if she'd go to sleep (which is what he did that afternoon and she slept for the first time during quiet time). Well, that was a mistake...he didn't know that the stuffed lion needs to be next to her so when he moved it, she broke down crying and wanted me. Last night was MUCH better. She was asleep by 8pm and I didn't even need to sit by the door. She was ok with me "checking on her".

She has been asking me to pick her up and carry her a lot today. She also started crying this morning when I tried to leave her with Blaine to go to the gym. It was late morning so maybe she wasn't quite yet feeling secure and so I didn't go. Later in the day I was able to go to the store and left her with Blaine without any objections or tears.

Night time is when she asks for and about mommy-mika. She is pretty much calmed and soothed when I hug her and tell her that she's safe and we love her. Now when I ask her, "Where are you safe?" she says "here". and I say, "Who keeps you safe?" and she says, "joni-mommy and daddy-blaine". We are still doing the bathing together, but she gets in right away and I can actually get out after a few minutes while she finishes up by herself. Hopefully I won't have to bathe with her for the next 10 years:) Blaine also started a thing where he tells her that when he's driving/sleeping/eating, etc. he's thinking of her. So then she says to him, "when I'm eating, I'm thinking of you!". We also tell her that we carry her around in our hearts...she likes that.

Today at the park she took her favorite purple blanket (which has been with her since her placement with Mika). She pushed "blankie" in the swing and put it on her lap while she was swinging. (When she doesn't actually have the blanket in hand, she still refers to her imaginary friend, "Blankie"). When the blanket was in her lap, she talked to him, kissed him, and said that she would change his poo-poo when we got home.

She likes Big Franks - yea! Oh, and the other night Mika said that “O” saw her giving "J" (foster brother) a bath and she said, "J"has a tail!"

Move in date will hopefully be this week sometime!

-joni-mommy

Morning with daddy-Blaine February 1, 2011

2/1/11

“O” spent the morning with daddy-blaine because I was at work. I came home for lunch and the foster fam met us here for an all inclusive photo of everyone. Daddy and “O” had a fun time in the cold at the park. she wanted to wear his beanie-cap. Mika said that this morning she told “O” that Blaine was coming to pick her up and she said, "No! It's DADDY-Blaine".

Joni

1st Sleepover February 2, 2011

2/2/11

Well, we had the sleepover, and I think it went pretty well. We had heard from Lori (therapist) that “O” was having a bad day on Wed, not eating, lethargic, and said she didn't want to come over (Mika/family had the "talk" with her the night before). When Mika brought her, she wanted her to stay, so Mika stayed for about 30 minutes. “O” seemed to relax. She even started calling Mika "Mika" after hearing me say something to her and using her name. She also still called her "mama" as well. She said goodbye fine, but didn't eat much dinner.

She kept asking when it was time to give me a bath (apparently she really liked bathing me the other night!). She repeated several times, YOUR bath, making it clear that she wasn't getting in and that she was going to bathe ME. I didn't argue or try to persuade her. It only took about 5 seconds of me sitting in the bath before she said, "my wanna come in!". After bathtime, she got weepy when I put on her PJ's saying, "my wanna sleep at Mommy-mikas!". I said, "i know, it's ok. do you feel scared?" She nodded 'yes', and I said, "you are safe here. Daddy-blaine and I love you and Dolly and Cash love you, and you are safe here. You will see mommy-mika in the morning for breakfast". I kept repeating that and hugged and kissed her. She seemed to calm down and then we read books on the couch with Blaine. She kissed him goodnight fine and we went into her room. I was in the room with her from 8:30-9:00. She wanted the door open (not like at home where it's closed) and wanted me in the bed with her. I layed next to her for a few minutes, then sat next to the bed caressing her hair and repeating to her that she was safe, and as soon as it was morning, she was going back to mommy-mika's. She wanted me to sleep in the room, but I told her that I would stay for awhile, and then sleep in my room. I asked her, "you know where my room is, right?" and she said excitedly, "yes! right through MY door!". I said that I would come and check on her several times, and that Dolly and Cash would check on her as well. She wanted blaine to come in for more kisses. And then I said I would sit on a pillow right outside her door where she could see me and keep checking on her. She said, "my no wanna sleep. My no wanna close my eyes". I said, "no, you don't have to close your eyes, you just need to stay lying down". I sat next to the door and from 9:00-9:35 she would say something, laugh, or ask me a question every few minutes. I either ignored her silliness or gave her short, boring answers and then said, "good night, "O", I love you". Finally, she was quiet at 9:35 and I got up from my post around 9:55. She slept through the night and got up and 7:30 pretty happy and excited. She ate some of her breakfast and was fine on the way home with Blaine.

A pretty successful 1st night! Our next one hopefully is Saturday night.

-joni