I have been starting to put clothes in a bag for Goodwill that “O” is growing out of (yes, in just the short 2 1/2 months since she moved in she has outgrown clothes and shot up 2 inches). And every time she sees me put the clothes in the bag in the garage she asks why, so I tell her. Today she asked again, and I once again said something like,
me: "They are too small for you now, so we are going to give them to kids who need clothes"
O: "Why them need clothes?"
me: "Some kids don't have very many clothes or toys, so we share with them"
O: (after running off to her room and returning with a book in each hand...) "Them need to read, too" and hands me the books to put in the bags. I had to hide the tears (granted, one of the books was one of my kid's therapy books, but the sentiment was still there)
Today after swimming, we were sitting on the deck and she brought Blankie out to sit with us. She says, "When my go to college, Blankie will come with me to college". hmmm...
I realized today that it really isn't just in my imagination that she asks a lot of "why" questions. This can be pretty typical of children who have been in foster care - they seek to control situations, and they try to control speaking conversations by talking "nonsense" or asking tons of questions. I have learned to just answer with "because I love you", or recently I have begun to bring back some childhood songs and just start to sing them instead of being sucked into her line of "why" questioning. These past couple of days I have sung a lot of "Say say oh playmate! Come out and play with me...." and "I'm a little piece of tin, nobody knows what shape I'm in"... and "hokey pokey". Here is an example, so you don't think I"m crazy:
(driving around in the car)
O: You need to get gas!
Me: no, i'm ok.
O:why you ok?
Me: my gas tank is full
O: why your gas tank full?
Me: because I haven't driven around very much
O: why you haven't driven around very much?
Me: because I haven't needed to drive around very much
O: why you no need to drive around much?
Me: Say, say oh playmate! Come out and play with me, and bring your dolly sweet, climb up my apple tree, slide down my rainbow, into my swimming pool, and we'll be jolly friends, forever more, more, many many more-more!
-joni
Joni...even children who haven't been in foster care ask that many why questions. Helena bombards me with them all day long, even after I've already answered the same question at least 2 or 3 times. Try asking her, "why do you think?" Then it's her turn to answer all the why question!! ;) Sounds like you're doing a great job, Joni!
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