Our "forever home"

Our "forever home"

Saturday, May 7, 2011

"Chill out" - 5/7/11








This morning on our walk at the park, I told “O” to "walk faster, please" and she said to me, "chill out, mommy". Oh dear. I say that to her (I admit it) and now it has come back to bite me. Well, I did let her know that she can't talk to mommy that way, and made a mental note to try to model better manners with her .




Today has not been the easiest day with her. Some days are just off for her, could be an emotional trigger that we don't know about, could be that she's 3, could be that we're all tired. She's in quiet time and hopefully we can "have a do-over" (as Eva would say) for this afternoon.


Last night she was having a hard time going to sleep (calling out a lot) and I was losing my patience. Blaine was (thankfully) still home and talked to her about being safe in our house. He said that this is HER house, HER room, and we are here to keep her safe. And she said, "and God keeps me safe, too. He's here, too". awe!


I put her baby pictures up in a frame in the hallway. Whenever we look at them with her she likes to be wrapped up like a baby in Blankie and then carried around the house. She becomes very infantile (hands to mouth, pretends to get sleepy, talks baby talk). It's quite a healing process for her.


ok, she hasn't slept at all for quiet time today. Maybe that means she'll go to sleep fast tonight?




-joni





Sunday, May 1, 2011

Dance class 5/1/11

“O” had her "big performance" for her last dance class (the 4th class of a month-long class, and it was just that the teacher let us in the room to see the songs they've been practicing.) Les (grandfather) came and she was thrilled. I have her signed up for the next month with the same teacher. I was surprised at how much she knew and could sing along, because it seemed like during most of the classes she was only on task half the time. It was painful at times to be the parent watching in through the door and seeing my child test the teacher. Oh well, 1st dance/recreational experience should be a positive one I guess. I don't want to turn into a crazy "pageant mom".


Some funny “O” sayings:


-We were on our walk today and and she saw the front grill of a BMW and said, "that car is mad!" If you've ever paid attention to how they look, she's right. And so then we named emotions for other cars . . . lots of cars look mad, but some do really seem happy, with the front grill wide as if showing teeth. I pointed out a VW Bug, which has round headlights (big open eyes) and the hood looks like a smile to me. So I said, "that car is happy!", and she said, "no, surprised!" . Which, again, with the "wide eyes" she is right.


- I asked her when Blankie's birthday is, and figuring she'd say October 5 (her birthday, and the only date she knows), she said "October 3". What a little smarty pants! Oh, and Blankie is only 1 year old. I thought he was much older.


- I asked her what shape birthday cake she wants, "...a cupcake shape? A bunny, or turtle?" and she says, "No, a cricket". Always thinking outside the box! And then she decided on a "dolly cake".


- she said that cupboards smell like "mushrooms", which is quite descriptive, I think, of what something dark and damp might smell like.



-joni

Going to college with Blankie - 4/27/11

I have been starting to put clothes in a bag for Goodwill that “O” is growing out of (yes, in just the short 2 1/2 months since she moved in she has outgrown clothes and shot up 2 inches). And every time she sees me put the clothes in the bag in the garage she asks why, so I tell her. Today she asked again, and I once again said something like,


me: "They are too small for you now, so we are going to give them to kids who need clothes"


O: "Why them need clothes?"


me: "Some kids don't have very many clothes or toys, so we share with them"


O: (after running off to her room and returning with a book in each hand...) "Them need to read, too" and hands me the books to put in the bags. I had to hide the tears (granted, one of the books was one of my kid's therapy books, but the sentiment was still there)


Today after swimming, we were sitting on the deck and she brought Blankie out to sit with us. She says, "When my go to college, Blankie will come with me to college". hmmm...


I realized today that it really isn't just in my imagination that she asks a lot of "why" questions. This can be pretty typical of children who have been in foster care - they seek to control situations, and they try to control speaking conversations by talking "nonsense" or asking tons of questions. I have learned to just answer with "because I love you", or recently I have begun to bring back some childhood songs and just start to sing them instead of being sucked into her line of "why" questioning. These past couple of days I have sung a lot of "Say say oh playmate! Come out and play with me...." and "I'm a little piece of tin, nobody knows what shape I'm in"... and "hokey pokey". Here is an example, so you don't think I"m crazy:


(driving around in the car)


O: You need to get gas!


Me: no, i'm ok.


O:why you ok?


Me: my gas tank is full


O: why your gas tank full?


Me: because I haven't driven around very much


O: why you haven't driven around very much?


Me: because I haven't needed to drive around very much


O: why you no need to drive around much?


Me: Say, say oh playmate! Come out and play with me, and bring your dolly sweet, climb up my apple tree, slide down my rainbow, into my swimming pool, and we'll be jolly friends, forever more, more, many many more-more!



-joni