First Adoption Disappointment

So, on Friday Blaine and I experienced our first adoption-related disappointment. Diana called me and told me that Baby "L"'s respite care worker came out as someone who wanted to adopt her. And since the respite person is someone "significant" to "L", then she gets priority over adoptive families. This was supposed to be ruled out by the CPS worker, but she apparently dropped the ball. So, the Red File meeting is cancelled and "L" is no longer available for adoption. This is quite a roller coaster of a process. We thought we were so close! (Our specialist even told us that she thought we were the strongest couple of the 4 being considered). Well, I guess it will happen when it's supposed to happen.

Red File Meeting

So 2 days ago Diana called me and told me that something "very unusual" has happened. We had been scheduled to be included on a Red File meeting for 2 sibling boys (2 & 3 years old). She called to tell me that another case manager pulled our file requesting us to be included on a Red File for a little girl. This is unusual because families are not generally picked for more than 1 Red File meeting at a time. We were told that after getting the information on the little girl, we'd have to decide who felt like a better match for our family - the boys or the girl. After much deliberation, we decided to be included in the Red File Meeting for the little girl. So...October 4 sometime in the evening, we're hoping to get a call with some good news! If not, we know that there are more kids to be adopted, and so far the process has seemed pretty fast, so it's only a matter of time. . .

Bonding and Attachment

Our adoption specialist suggested we take yet ANOTHER course! This one if for fostering bonding and attachment in children. We have been to 1 so far and have 4 more classes. I think it will be interesting. There are couples in the class who have adoptive placements of toddlers and are dealing with major attachment and/or tantrum issues. We've learned so far that no matter the age of the child that gets placed with us, it is highly likely that they will have some sort of bonding or attachment need. Even babies! One of my friends from high school adopted a baby and said that she even had some bonding issues. She sounds like she's doing really well now, though (she's 1 year old).

The teacher is kind of crazy but entertaining. We'll see...

CERTIFIED!

We are officially certified to be adoptive parents. It's amazing the classes, paperwork, home requirements that are necessary to adopt! I had to go out and buy a shepherd's crook today for the pool. I still need to find a life saving ring and rope. These things are not cheap! Anyway, we had our make-up class tonight with a group of people we didn't know. Blaine had to make up class #8, and since I'm such a great wife I went with him even though I didn't need to make it up. This way we were both presented with our certificates at the same time (but notice the different dates of them:)

It's been an interesting journey so far. It's made us have some good conversations about discipline, rules, hobbies, activities, expectations, etc. of our family+ kids.

Next step...wait for a call to say there's a child available!

Home Inspection

We had our home inspection yesterday. Just a few more things we have to do to comply with regulations - put a key lock on the door to the garage, get life-saving devices for the pool, and clean out around the water heater (nothing flammable - like that wood Blaine is storing...??:) We have our make-up class tomorrow night where we'll get our certificates. Then I guess we just see what happens!

Being an aunt and uncle

Blaine and I just returned from visiting San Antonio, TX. My sister and her husband and 2 kids live there. We took our dogs (of course, they're family) for a 6-day visit. My niece is 6 and nephew is 4. What energy! And they are so smart. Seriously, my niece can spell Frappuccino! (I guess the secret's out as to where Blaine and I took her on our day of babysitting). We left wondering if we have enough energy to have a child. Can we keep up? My sister said it's important to stay in shape just to be able to keep up with the kids. I believe it.

Child-proofing

In order to pass a home inspection at the end of June, Blaine and I must child-proof our house. So, back in November we had a pool fence installed. At first I was sad because it mildly obstructed the view of the pool, but now that summer is here it keeps our dogs from going in every chance they get. It's nice to monitor when they go swimming and reduce the wet dog paws in our house.

Last week I installed smoke detectors in all the rooms (yep, I'm pretty handy, eh?). A fire extinguisher is in the kitchen. This week we have Blaine's brother visiting. He adopted a little girl almost 5 years ago and so had practice installing magnetic key locks on the cupboards. Guess what I've asked him to do? After feeling confident in myself for putting up the smoke alarms, I opened the box to the magnetic cupboard locks. I promptly put it away. Too many screws, a step that involved a drill, measuring...and this is something that if you mess up you leave holes in your house. So, once my brother-in-law fixes the cupboard locks, we should be pretty set with child-proofing (I even have outlet covers). What's funny is we have to prepare for a child of any age between birth-3. Cupboard locks aren't needed until they are mobile, which could be a few years. So, we'll get to use a lovely magnetic key every time we want to open our cupboard under the sink even before we have any kids in the house. Oh well, it'll be worth it.

Our house has always been pretty child safe - until a couple weeks ago. We don't have many things laying around (ceramics, frames, etc) and our tables have rounded edges. There really wasn't anything in our house that we cared enough for that, if broken, would have made us upset. And then we got a hutch. And filled it with my great-grandmother's dishes and goblets. Now there is something to worry about. Now when Cash goes crazy and chases his tail like a mad-dog, I watch out for the hutch.

Adoption Book

I just added a new link - it takes you to our adoption book. We had to create this to showcase who we are, in essence, "sell us". This is who we are and what we have to offer a child, all in 14 pages:) This book will be presented at any "red file" meeting (named so because the child's information is kept in a red file and discussed at the meeting). Adoption specialists who represent several families or couples are present, along with the child's case manager. Each specialist presents their case as to why the couple that they represent is the best fit for the child. This adoption book is shown to the case manager as part of that presentation. I had fun putting it together:)

"Road Work"

For our classes, we've had "road work" every week (homework). This week we have been answering questions about the events that could occur in the first 5 days following placement of a child. The scenario given to us is with an 8 year old boy removed from a drug home. It's a good activity, it's just been hard being motivated to do homework again - it's been so long!

By the way, our agency is Arizona Adoption and Foster Care (AAFC). They seem pretty good so far - lots of support and resources available.

2 more classes plus a make-up class

So Blaine and I decided a long time ago that we wanted to adopt a child. (We've already adopted 2 dogs). The process has seemed somewhat drawn out because we went to an orientation class in September 2008, but due to scheduling and Blaine's night gigs, we couldn't start our 12-week course until March 2010. Yep, 12 weeks of classes. We've learned a lot so far - about ourselves, about the legal process, and about some of the horrific things that kids endure before being available for adoption. I became frustrated after our last class when we heard that severance of parent rights can take up to 18 months. Is there any chance, then, of getting a child under a year? We told our specialist that we would take up to 2 siblings. And she has already told us that she will call us if 3 siblings come up for adoption just to test the water. wow. 3 at once.



Anyway, Blaine and I decided to be proactive about this whole thing and not wait around for a call. Hence the blog. We were told we could put the word out that we want to adopt - and if anyone hears of a child who is in need of a "forever home", then our agency can facilitate the adoption. So....WE WANT TO ADOPT. Any babies out there?