"O" sayings 2-17-11

2/17/11

“O” has a cold - wet cough, runny nose, fever. Poor little thing, she wants me to carry her around everywhere. My upper body is getting quite the workout, but my lower back isn't too happy.

Daddy and “O” did some painting yesterday. Blaine had to put his paints on his own separate plate because the first day they painted together she wanted to mix all the colors, which really got to him. So, the next time she got to do what she wanted and he had his nicely separated paint colors .

“O” picks up on everything people say, and will even use an expression correctly after hearing it only once. She is a mirror to our actions (whether we like it or not!). Apparently I clear my throat a lot because she has started doing it. Also, Blaine says "big time" to emphasize the importance of something. Tonight in bed she was recapping her day and telling me about the doctor putting a q-tip up her nose to send out a sample to check for the Flu. It hurt and made her cry. So in bed she said, "the doctor picked my nose and my cry big time".

I also told her about when Julian was here a few years ago and fell on our cactus in the backyard, he cried and got hurt a bit. She talked about it several times in bed tonight. "Julian come and fall and hurt hisself on the cactus? Him cry?"

Last night was tough because she was feeling crummy with her cold and started saying that she wanted to go to mommy-Mika's house. We called Mika (for the first time since she moved in) and she started crying saying, "my wanna go to your house!". Oh! It broke my heart to see her so sad. It didn't really make me feel bad or jealous (I'm actually really happy and relieved that she was able to make such a close connection/attachment to Mika), but just felt bad for “O” and Mika. That must have been hard on Mika, too. We'll try to skype with them later in the week, hopefully when “O”'s feeling better and in a happy mood.

No work again tomorrow. This whole working 10 hours a week is pretty nice. Only a few weeks of it, though:)

Visit to great grandparents' house 2-16-11

2/16/11

On Sunday “O” got to meet Uncle Jeff via Skype. She has seen pictures of him but was her usual, serious self when talking to him on the computer. After skyping, I showed her his picture again and she said, "that my uncle Jeff? Him your brother?" Man, she's so smart.

She also got to meet Eva, Julian, Auntie Jill, and uncle Reni for the first time in cyberspace. Once again, pretty serious and observant for the most part. She talked a laughed a little, but mainly rested her head in her hands staring at the computer screen and watching their antics. She is fascinated by Julian. She likes to look at his pictures in her photo album. Could her first crush be on her cousin?

She painted a dragonfly for great grandma and grandpa ("Nana" & "Papa") and got to deliver it to them yesterday on Valentine's day. She did really well at their house. She wanted to touch many things, but was pretty good at asking before touching. Great grandpa played ball with her and showed her the toys he keeps for all of his grandkids. She ran circles around from the TV room to the "Christmas room" (as all grandkids have done, apparently) fascinated by the fact that the rooms were connected. When great grandpa put on some music sung by a 10 year old girl in opera style, “O” danced slowly and sang along in falsetto trying to mimic the girl's voice. She kept asking for more when he turned it off. I see some dancing lessons or gymnastics in her future!

Last night she played 'house' with Cash and Dolly by closing the 3 of them in the laundry room. We could hear her talking to them and 'reading' to them from a piece of paper. Anytime I opened the door, she was sitting on the dryer platform talking to them. They were excited at first to be in there with her, but then eventually looked at me with worried, pleading eyes anytime I opened the door.

Bedtime was awesome last night. No complaining, no sitting by the door. Ah! I guess that's what happens when she doesn't sleep for quiet time. Oh! And she also gave herself a shower last night. I ran the bath, and she sits on the side like I do with her feet in the water. She is still resisting a bit with getting in the water. I never force her or tell her she has to. Inevitably she gets in, though, bathing with toys is too irresistable. So after playing a bit, but not really wanting to be washed, Blaine told her to lift the lever on the spigot. A bit surprised by the flow of water on her head, she pushed it back down, but then did it again. We think she liked having the control over whether she had it on 'shower' or 'bathtub' mode. When on 'shower' mode, she got all the way underneath with a smile and proceeded to wash herself. We're discovering that with a 3 year old, you have to know your goal and somehow get there creatively without them realizing that they are doing what YOU want.

We are trying to move away from 'joni-mommy' to just 'mommy' or 'mama', and from 'daddy-blaine' to just 'daddy'. So...if you skype or talk with her, please refer to us as just 'mommy' and 'daddy'.

First few days in her forever home 2/13/11

2/13/11

O has been doing pretty well adjusting to her forever home. She still mentions Mommy-mika a few times, and the first day with Blaine she said that her home was Mommy-Mika's home. He explained that THIS was now her forever home. It was a day of a lot of "no"s on her part, telling daddy 'no' to many things. Yesterday and today have been good. Yesterday we went to the zoo for about an hour and a half (didn't get very far from the entrance - saw giraffes, took the train around the park, and then left). We had lunch at grandfather and grandmother's house. She loved her mini pizzas that grandmother made! She had a blast on the perfectly-sized swings on their porch. Oh, and grandfather decorated her face with green highlighter marker (see photo). It DID come off very easily:)

She got a late nap yesterday and didn't wake up until 5:15, which made it difficult for her to sleep last night. She heard me twice when I tried to close her door thinking that she was asleep. Many panicky tears later, she finally fell asleep around 10pm. Blaine got home from a gig very late, and she woke up for some reason (noise maybe?) around 3am crying, scared, and possibly sad from missing Mika (she can't really verbalize it, but last night was the 3rd night sleeping here, the longest she's been here so far). Blaine brought her into our bed for a few minutes until she calmed down. I took her back, talked to her, lightly tickled her face, and slept on the floor beside her until 5am. Everytime I tried to move or get up, she'd roll over and look at me to make sure I was still in the room. That is a hard floor.

Today we had a girl's outting with my friend Maryellen (who she called "Mary Lemon" and then another time "Mary Onion"). On the way to getting frozen yogurt, she was cracking us up! I'd say "knock knock!" and she'd just start laughing hysterically as if that were the punchline! You feel so funny with 3 year olds! She'd start with a fake laugh, and then it'd turn into a real one, and the 3 of us laughed over nothing the entire way there.

We think the next week or two will probably be the toughest as she starts to realize that she is NOT going back to Mika's. We will see them again for a quick visit somewhere at a park or restaurant maybe after a couple of weeks.

-joni

2/10/11

Well, “O” came home today:) I picked her up at Mika's at 5:00pm. Daddy-blaine had a gig, but that was ok, we didn't want it to be a big emotional ordeal. The foster family was all out front playing with her and had her things in bags/boxes ready to go. She wanted to come to me and said, "my wanna go in your car". We loaded up her things (4 large bags, 1 little toy kitchen, 1 box...other things had already been brought to our house). She gave kisses to everyone and all of us adults acted very brave and held back tears as best we could. “O” was fine when I put her in the car. I rolled down her window so she could touch their hands and say goodbye again. Foster family's teenage daughter put her head in the car and kissed “O” again. O said, "why you crying?". Foster sister - "because I'm sad. I love you." Luckily I had sunglasses that I wore on the way home. “O” was happy and talkative the whole drive back.

She was very excited to see her new toys from the shower (she hadn't seen any of them yet. We decided opening presents would be too overwhelming, so we just organized and put toys away so that they'd be ready for her when she came home). She played in her new car out back while I fixed dinner . What normally would take me 10 minutes to make, took me about 30 minutes because I kept going outside to answer questions, play, or just see what she was doing.

Bathtime was a success! I found a bathtime doll that has a little hoodie towel, diapers, jammies, and a toilet. She bathed her instead of me! Bedtime was also pretty smooth. Books, looking at pictures in the hallway (naming everyone, oh, and Blaine has been calling Chris "Uncle Frodo". Sorry Chris). She did not ask me to sit by her door (yay!) and only called out with silliness a few times. I think she's actually asleep right now! phew!

When will it feel real?

-joni

2nd sleepover February 5-7, 2011

2/5/11 - 2/7/11

“O” stayed the entire weekend this weekend (saturday and sunday night). Mika+family came over Saturday for lunch at our house (my parents were also in town for the shower that my friends threw for us). Saying goodbyes to Mika+family was pretty seamless, kisses and hugs without any questioning of them staying or not. They also have started bringing over some of her things, which she did not object to. “O” was quite enamored with my parents and warmed up very well too them. She also met grandmother, grandfather, great grandma, & kelsey, taylor this weekend at the shower! She had fun playing with grandmother and grandfather after the shower. At the park today, in fact, she was making up names of people she was pretending to be, and one time she said that she was "grandmother".

Saturday night was harder for her to sleep than actually the 1st night over. We tried to do too many things in the afternoon and ended up having a later dinner, late books, and late to bed (in bed at 9:00). We did our normal routine of talking about who loves “O”, that she is safe in the house, and we are all here for her. I sat by the door without her asking if I would sleep in with her. After 20 minutes, Blaine said he'd try to just lay next to her on the floor to see if she'd go to sleep (which is what he did that afternoon and she slept for the first time during quiet time). Well, that was a mistake...he didn't know that the stuffed lion needs to be next to her so when he moved it, she broke down crying and wanted me. Last night was MUCH better. She was asleep by 8pm and I didn't even need to sit by the door. She was ok with me "checking on her".

She has been asking me to pick her up and carry her a lot today. She also started crying this morning when I tried to leave her with Blaine to go to the gym. It was late morning so maybe she wasn't quite yet feeling secure and so I didn't go. Later in the day I was able to go to the store and left her with Blaine without any objections or tears.

Night time is when she asks for and about mommy-mika. She is pretty much calmed and soothed when I hug her and tell her that she's safe and we love her. Now when I ask her, "Where are you safe?" she says "here". and I say, "Who keeps you safe?" and she says, "joni-mommy and daddy-blaine". We are still doing the bathing together, but she gets in right away and I can actually get out after a few minutes while she finishes up by herself. Hopefully I won't have to bathe with her for the next 10 years:) Blaine also started a thing where he tells her that when he's driving/sleeping/eating, etc. he's thinking of her. So then she says to him, "when I'm eating, I'm thinking of you!". We also tell her that we carry her around in our hearts...she likes that.

Today at the park she took her favorite purple blanket (which has been with her since her placement with Mika). She pushed "blankie" in the swing and put it on her lap while she was swinging. (When she doesn't actually have the blanket in hand, she still refers to her imaginary friend, "Blankie"). When the blanket was in her lap, she talked to him, kissed him, and said that she would change his poo-poo when we got home.

She likes Big Franks - yea! Oh, and the other night Mika said that “O” saw her giving "J" (foster brother) a bath and she said, "J"has a tail!"

Move in date will hopefully be this week sometime!

-joni-mommy

Morning with daddy-Blaine February 1, 2011

2/1/11

“O” spent the morning with daddy-blaine because I was at work. I came home for lunch and the foster fam met us here for an all inclusive photo of everyone. Daddy and “O” had a fun time in the cold at the park. she wanted to wear his beanie-cap. Mika said that this morning she told “O” that Blaine was coming to pick her up and she said, "No! It's DADDY-Blaine".

Joni

1st Sleepover February 2, 2011

2/2/11

Well, we had the sleepover, and I think it went pretty well. We had heard from Lori (therapist) that “O” was having a bad day on Wed, not eating, lethargic, and said she didn't want to come over (Mika/family had the "talk" with her the night before). When Mika brought her, she wanted her to stay, so Mika stayed for about 30 minutes. “O” seemed to relax. She even started calling Mika "Mika" after hearing me say something to her and using her name. She also still called her "mama" as well. She said goodbye fine, but didn't eat much dinner.

She kept asking when it was time to give me a bath (apparently she really liked bathing me the other night!). She repeated several times, YOUR bath, making it clear that she wasn't getting in and that she was going to bathe ME. I didn't argue or try to persuade her. It only took about 5 seconds of me sitting in the bath before she said, "my wanna come in!". After bathtime, she got weepy when I put on her PJ's saying, "my wanna sleep at Mommy-mikas!". I said, "i know, it's ok. do you feel scared?" She nodded 'yes', and I said, "you are safe here. Daddy-blaine and I love you and Dolly and Cash love you, and you are safe here. You will see mommy-mika in the morning for breakfast". I kept repeating that and hugged and kissed her. She seemed to calm down and then we read books on the couch with Blaine. She kissed him goodnight fine and we went into her room. I was in the room with her from 8:30-9:00. She wanted the door open (not like at home where it's closed) and wanted me in the bed with her. I layed next to her for a few minutes, then sat next to the bed caressing her hair and repeating to her that she was safe, and as soon as it was morning, she was going back to mommy-mika's. She wanted me to sleep in the room, but I told her that I would stay for awhile, and then sleep in my room. I asked her, "you know where my room is, right?" and she said excitedly, "yes! right through MY door!". I said that I would come and check on her several times, and that Dolly and Cash would check on her as well. She wanted blaine to come in for more kisses. And then I said I would sit on a pillow right outside her door where she could see me and keep checking on her. She said, "my no wanna sleep. My no wanna close my eyes". I said, "no, you don't have to close your eyes, you just need to stay lying down". I sat next to the door and from 9:00-9:35 she would say something, laugh, or ask me a question every few minutes. I either ignored her silliness or gave her short, boring answers and then said, "good night, "O", I love you". Finally, she was quiet at 9:35 and I got up from my post around 9:55. She slept through the night and got up and 7:30 pretty happy and excited. She ate some of her breakfast and was fine on the way home with Blaine.

A pretty successful 1st night! Our next one hopefully is Saturday night.

-joni